Back in 2007, a mentor gave me a test.
“Show me your calendar and your credit card statement,” he said, “and I’ll tell you exactly what you value.”
Not what you say you value. What you actually value.
I was in my mid-twenties, working 60-70 hours a week. Building Asian Efficiency from scratch. Convinced that family was my number one priority. I talked about it all the time.
Then I looked at my calendar.
No family time. Not one protected block. Not a weekend morning. Not even a lunch with my parents.
The calendar told the truth. I wasn’t.
That moment changed how I think about priorities entirely.
The Gap Most People Never Look At
Here’s the thing about priorities: everyone has them. Very few people actually live by them.
And it’s not because they’re bad people or lazy. It’s because priorities without time are just wishes.
I work with clients on this a lot. Someone will tell me health is their number one value. Then we look at their week and there’s no gym, no walk, no time blocked for cooking real food. Just a vague intention floating in their head.
Or they’ll say their marriage is the most important thing in their life. But when did they last have an uninterrupted dinner with their spouse that wasn’t also a scheduling logistics session?
The gap between stated values and actual schedule is usually pretty big. And it’s uncomfortable to look at.
But that discomfort is the point.
How the Test Works
Pull up your calendar from last week. Not the ideal version. Last week’s actual calendar.
Now ask: does this look like the week of someone who values what I say I value?
Do the same thing with your credit card statement. Where did your money actually go last month?
You’re not looking for perfection. You’re looking for signal. If fitness matters to you, is there any money going toward it? Any time?
If it’s totally absent, that’s your data.
This is what I call a values audit. It takes about 10 minutes. Most people would rather not do it, which is exactly why it’s useful.
What to Do When the Answer Is No
First: don’t spiral. The point isn’t to make you feel guilty. The point is to get honest.
Second: pick one thing.
Not five things. Not a whole new life system. One thing you can actually change next week.
When I coach people through this, I use something similar to the Ideal Week framework — designing a weekly template where your values show up as actual scheduled blocks, not hopeful intentions.
For a coaching client I was working with recently, we realized that “serenity” was one of her stated core values. But her week had no quiet time in it. Nothing.
So we blocked 8-9pm on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday as protected downtime. Meditation or journaling or just sitting without a screen. That’s it.
Three weeks later, she said it was the highest-ROI change she’d made all year.
One block. One value. That’s where you start.
The Weekly Check-In
Once you’ve made a change, build in a way to see if it’s sticking.
The simplest version: every Sunday, spend five minutes looking at the week ahead. Ask two questions.
Does this week have time for what I actually value?
And: what do I need to protect or remove to make space?
This isn’t a big production. It’s five minutes with your calendar and an honest question.
The goal isn’t a perfect week. It’s a week that’s at least somewhat honest about what matters to you.
The Uncomfortable Truth
Most people never do this check because they already know the answer and don’t want to see it in writing.
That’s okay. But the gap doesn’t close by ignoring it. It closes by looking at it, picking one thing, and changing it.
Start there.
Pull up last week’s calendar right now. See what it says about you.
Want a simple template for building your Ideal Week? Check out the weekly review at Asian Efficiency — it includes a values-to-calendar exercise that takes about 20 minutes.
